This Page is Dedicated to All The Fighters who gained their wings
Firstly, we would like to say the idea for this page came about due to Angela's 2 year old daughter, Ashley, gaining her wings on 3rd October 2008.
RIP Ashley
This page will be updated as and when we have new dedications and will be ran by Donna Jones. Donna is an angel mummy to 2 beautiful HLHS sons. Donna can be contacted through here or by email, if you wish to talk to somebody who has been through bereavement because of HLHS or any other CHD. Donna's email address is donnaanddean@sky.com.
A Poem Wrote by Angela for her little Ashley
Your help is needed
And that's not all,
We need awareness,
For the little and the small.
We need your help,
to spread the word,
of congenital heart defects,
for little have heard!
This is a deadly defect,
affecting many that are born,
turning lives upside down,
leaving dreams shattered and torn.
Congenital heart defects,
known as CHD's,
are the #1 birth defect,
but a hidden disease.
Doses of medicine,
many times each day,
a little child,
that can't run or play,
his little heart,
can't take the stress,
his little body,
just needs to rest.
A little baby
that struggles to eat,
with tiny blue lips,
and hands and feet.
A mother stands by
her baby's grave,
praying through research,
others will be saved!
Written by Angela Brooks (c)
Bereavement
At some time in the lives of children with severe heart defects, most have periods of being 'on the critical list'.
For the majority, these periods are mericfully short-lived and the trauma quickly forgotten in the happiness of recovery. There are, however, occasions when children die. This is devestating for the parents, relatives and deeply upsetting for the medical/nursing team, who expend so much effort in prolonging life.
When a child remains critically ill or dies, no-one knows exactly what to say or do. Many parents in this situation are aware of feeling alienated from nursing staff and other parents in the unit. They desperately want to know what is happening to their child but are terrified of hearing the worst. Staff tend, to some extent, follow the lead given by parents, which amounts to a conspiracy of silence.
There is no satisfactory way of overcoming this problem.
Death is not a subject, which we in western society are encouraged to discuss. Parents may be afrais of appearing morbid if they ask if their child is going to die, and medical staff hesitate in bringing it up for fear of upsetting the parents. At the same time, it is the one thing that is on everyone's minds. Not being able to voice this is almost immobilising fear and adds to the strain. Many parents also feel that they cannot mention the word 'dying' when their child is still fighting to live.
The grief which occurs as a result of bereavemtn has been described as 'a reaction in whihc normal functioning no longer holds'. In fact, many bereaved parents talk as though they are going mad, they worry about coping with the intensity of their feelings and find the rapid changes which their emotions go through, very bewildering.
As with most things in life, we have some control over, or we can do something to ease the situation. There is no0thing one can do to change the death of a child. Often it is the sense of helplessness that this knowledge brings, that adds to feelings of anger and pain.
The Process of Grieving
Stage One
Shck and numbness. These are the inital reactions to loss and may include physical symptoms of palpitations, muscular weakness or nausea. The numbness makes our surroundings seem unreal and remote, as though, we are distanced from what is happening. Another aspect of stage one is a denial of what has happened. Parents temporarily 'forget' their loss and find themselves laying their child's place at the table, for example, running their bath or buying an item of clothing whilst out shopping. This is perfectly normal.
Stage Two
Is the gradual realisation of what has happened, which is often followed by feelings of anger, apathy, exhaustion, grief and guilt. Parents will either withdraw themselves or be involved in sudden bursts of activity.
Stage Three
Gradual realisation that you are able to accept memories without overwhelming grief and you are able to resume forming plans for your future. These stages do vary with each individual and it is impossible to put a timescale on them. This is the reason couples find it difficult to cope with the loss of a child, due to grieving at different stages. It is always helpful to have another listener outside of the immediate family circle to whom they can voice the feelings they are experiencing.
In this section of the website, we want to say we are deeply sorry for the loss of your child. The pain must be unbearable at times and we want parents and families to express as much grief as they are feeling at the moment and are willing to share.
Be patient with yourselves and don't expect too much. We want you to talk about the child you have lost as much and as often as you to and need to. Be it special qualities, the love of their siblings...
You as parents did as much as you possibly could. Don't ever feel that you didn't.
We care about EVERYONE affected by CHD, even in the loss of a child. We hope we can offer some help, if nothing else, we are good listeners.
This page is a tribute and memorial of the many CHD Warriors who are now angels; where you can send pictures and written tributes and they will be posted her as rememberance of our little cherubs.
They will never be forgotten.
A mother clipping her babies wings.
(symbolic of how much we want to hold on to our angels)
It's a beautiful day up in heaven.
Jesus is rounding up his tiniest angels, to go live on earth, and be born.
One of the sweetest angel says to Jesus "I don't want to leave, I like it here, and I will miss you".
He reassures the scared little angel that everything will be okay, and that she is just going for a visit.
She is still not swayed on this idea. So Jesus kneels down, and says,
"How about if you leave half of your heart here with me and take the other half with you, will that be okay?"
The angel smiles and says, "I guess that will work".
But the little angel is still a little scared.
She asks, "Will I be okay with only half of my heart?"
Jesus replies, "Of course you will, I have other angels there that will help out, and you will be fine."
Then Jesus gives the angel more details about his plan.
He says "When you are born, your mommy will be scared, so you have to be strong,
and when you feel weak just remember that I have the other half of your heart".
"Enjoy your time with your family, play and laugh everyday."
"And when its time to come back to heaven, I will make your heart whole again.
Always remember that you are not broken, just torn between two loves."
Messages
From: Karen Prior
Message: My beautiful Lewis was born August 2001, he collapsed at five days old and was diagnosed with HPLH. Lewis was a fighter he had stage one & two. In December 2003 Lewis was placed onto the heart transplant list at GOS as stage three could not go ahead. Sadly the call we prayed for never came and we lost our precious son April 6th 2004 aged two years and eight months.
Next April will be the fifth anniversary of him receiving his angel wings & we love and miss him more each and every day.
Please visit http://www.thelewispriorfoundation.org
This is Lewis's charity website, anyone wanting their angel added onto Lewis's angel gallery, please just contact me via his site.
Also click on our donor system page and view his mini clip, sign his guestbook with your comments.
Love you loads sweetheart,
Mummy, Daddy, Nanny & your brothers & sister x
~
From: Kathy Gray
Message: In Memory Of Baby James Gray Born And Died 4th November 1998.
"One Moment In Our Arms"
Love You Always,
Mummy & Daddy xx
~
From: Leslie Irons
Message: I am not in same situation as the people you have on here, My children are all healthy, But I find myself putting myself in their position and I just dont think there is anyway I could fully understand what they are going through But I am soooo sorry for their loss.
~
From: Samantha Billings
Message: In Memory of my beautiful daughter Alivia Grace, who was born May 12, 2009 with Hypoplastic Left Heart and earned her wings June 17, 2009. Mommy and Daddy miss you Bug! We love you so much!
~
From: Nadina Wright
Message: In Memory of our little girl Heather-Sandra Parsons-Wright, born 16th May 2009 to 22nd May 2009. You gave us 6 amazing days, each will be remembered forever. Mummy and Daddy love you and miss you but know you are in a better place with Grandma Sandra looking after you xxx
~
From: Ky Tyler Whiteman
Message: In memory of Ruby Leisha Tyler-Whiteman. Born 22 January 2008 with HLHS, had her first surgery at 3 days old then 3 more before gaining her wings on 31 January 2008 aged 9 days. She was a beautiful 9lb8oz and 57cm of perfection. Our little gem, loved and missed by Mummy, Daddy, Bella and Daniel xxxx
~
From: Rachel Wood
Message: In memory of my beautiful baby boy Logan Terence Wood. Born 13/12/08 and gave me the best 9 days of my life. Love you always Logan.
~
From: Donna Jones
Message: To my first born son, Charlie. You were so brave and strong and taken so suddenly. You will always be my brightest star at night. To my youngest son, Kian, you were given to us to give us hope and strength but your fight was not meant to be. Play nicely together my darling boys and I will see you when the stars come out. Love you so very much and miss you more and more. Mummy xxxxxx